Burnout is not unique to family law. I would hazard a guess that most lawyers experience burnout at some point in their career.
In family law, we deal with people at potentially the lowest point in their personal lives, whilst helping them navigate a way through the legal process. They are often hurt, stressed out and very emotionally charged. Most clients are upset that the legal system will not address their emotional hurt and they often wish there was a way to be compensated for their hurt.
It is important, for a number of reasons, for us family lawyers to know our limits and be clear about them from the beginning. Retainer letters consistently state that we do not provide tax advice. Perhaps our retainer letters should also state that we do not (and cannot) provide counselling.
While that may be unnecessary, it is important to raise this early and often with our clients. It is also important to remind them they should receive counselling and work through emotional pain with their counsellor, as the legal system is not built to address that.
Whether our clients attend counselling or not (and hopefully they all do), they will still bring emotions to their legal matter. They may also need to recount upsetting information about their relationship and former partner, as it could be relevant to their case. This may include history of family violence, child protection concerns, conflict and other serious matters.
We listen to their information, apply it to the relevant law, and give them options and advice. Some clients are dissatisfied with the options, which can cause our advice to be underappreciated.
Due to the increase in self-represented litigants, we also find ourselves dealing directly with our client’s former partner more and more often. This leads to us trying to keep things on the rails for our client while sifting through their spouses’ confusing correspondence and materials. This correspondence sometimes even contains insults directed at us.
I would be lying if I said I never felt burnout or overwhelmed. A quick look at my internet search history will show I’ve researched ‘how to live off the grid’ or ‘how to change your identity and start a new life’ more than once over the years.
Better options include setting boundaries, keeping things in perspective and prioritizing work life balance. There are many articles that propound these strategies, and they were written by people far more knowledgeable about the issue than me.
Therefore, I’ve decided to include strategies more focused on family law, which I believe can help reduce stress and burnout in our emotional and high-conflict field, in no particular order:
1. Be a good lawyer:
If you do good work and are always prepared, whether it is for a Court hearing or a client meeting, you will avoid (most) surprises and a lot of stress.
To do this, it is critical that we continue learning and getting better. As the past few years have demonstrated, things often change. Reread the legislation and Rules, make sure you have the most up to date case law, and think critically about how it applies to your case. When in doubt, ask another lawyer for their thoughts or advice. A second set of eyes or talking the issue out may be just what you need.
Always be honest, whether this is about strengths and weaknesses of a position, costs, timelines (including missed ones), or anything else. Bad news does not age well (and takes up a lot of mental space while aging), so it’s best to be up front about it.
Be courteous and considerate in all your dealings, and not just with other lawyers. Our jobs are difficult enough, we do not need to increase the stress and conflict by being inconsiderate to anyone.
2. Be a good person:
Get involved in the community, both the legal community and the broader community.
Saskatchewan is a relatively small Bar, which means you will work with the same lawyers for many years. Having a good relationship with the opposing lawyer makes your job easier and increases your chances of resolving issues efficiently for your client. As an added benefit, a lot of lawyers are actually pretty interesting and you might enjoy getting to know them.
Giving back to the broader community can also improve your perspective and give you a sense of accomplishment. It doesn’t have to be a herculean commitment, but figure out what sparks an interest in you and find out how you can help.
3. Be good to yourself:
I am in no position to judge anyone’s food or exercise habits, so I will leave that to someone else.
On the topic of ‘self care’ though I can confidently encourage everyone to pursue whatever it is that makes it ‘worth it’. Our jobs are tough, and it is important to have things to look forward to and something that you love so much it makes all the hard work worth doing.
For me it’s anything to do with horses. For you it’s probably different. Whatever it is, do it and do not feel bad about it.
Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Absent a winning lottery ticket, our careers are the same.
At the end of the day, I take pride in the fact that I help people through very difficult periods of their life. As a family lawyer I hope to continue building something I am proud of and enjoy the things that make it ‘worth it’ to me. I hope you do too.
Kate Joa (she/her) is a partner in the Saskatoon office of McDougall Gauley LLP. Kate practices primarily in the area of family law and has extensive experience in assisting her clients successfully resolve family law disputes.